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January 26, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I enjoyed the second chapter. I can't read the first because the formatting makes it so I have to scroll from side to side, and reading that way is impossible. You might want to edit that first chapter to fix that.
But, as I said, I did read the second chapter and I liked it. You've got some good dialogue going and some interesting characters. And, the story deserves at least a five, just for the clever title.
But, as I said, I did read the second chapter and I liked it. You've got some good dialogue going and some interesting characters. And, the story deserves at least a five, just for the clever title.
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January 25, 2006 at 12:00 AM
awesome so far a lil short and kinda slow but its ok so far
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January 24, 2006 at 12:00 AM
*Please* get rid of some of the ~~~~~~. They make it so the page has to be scrolled back and forth to read each line.
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January 24, 2006 at 12:00 AM
oh my god, this rules!!!!!!!!! i love this story so much, it rocks! update really soon, like... now
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January 24, 2006 at 12:00 AM
that was really good, i guess. I think it's a bit cliche though. And (just to know) how old are they? You said 9th grade, so I'm guessing 14-15. That's a bit young, doncha think?