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July 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Melody Fate,
I can't even begin to articulate what I feel for your fiction. The only picture that could possibly begin to explain it is that of a mental patient, rocking back and forth, vibrating his lips against a finger going up and down over his sweat and drool soaked face. Yeah... that's what it is. Your literary style makes me want to suck Smack's cock just as hard as Eva does... No. That's not exactly what I mean... You see, I'm having such a hard time because my heart is still racing from the excitement of having found an author that DOESN'T sound like a horny 7th grader equipped with an ignorant imagination and keyboard. You must already be a published author because there is no way under Buddha's fucking fig tree that you aren't.
While I can't relate to your story in any way personally, I think that we are all little sluts deep down inside... No, let me rephrase that. Eva's life is my fantasy world. Even though she went through Hell, literally, I still would probably give my right kidney to be in her place. Musician, struggling or not, is honorable. While I fondle no musical bone in my body (my mother being a retired opera star and, father doing a little singing/piano here and there and both my sisters being singers and musicians), this story has touched me more than any story, erotic or otherwise, ever has. And trust me when I say that this has gone from a vessel for the one-handed naughty, to an actual piece for literary pleasure. In other words, it's no longer and issue of getting myself off, but of having raw, dirty, sweaty, pounding, bucking, humping, crazy, wild sex with your words.
Fuck you. Jesus, I'm so jealous, it hurts. But please continue because I don't know where I'd be without you. Yeah, I know, that's lame, but you don't even want to know how true it is.
I know you've published before, you lying bitch. No one puts up legal disclaimers like those unless she knows what the fuck she's talking about. I love you. And I love your work. Please, continue? For me? For the children? No, I'm not drunk. Nor am I stoned... anymore.
May the gods of Microsoft Word bless you,
Birdie H.
I can't even begin to articulate what I feel for your fiction. The only picture that could possibly begin to explain it is that of a mental patient, rocking back and forth, vibrating his lips against a finger going up and down over his sweat and drool soaked face. Yeah... that's what it is. Your literary style makes me want to suck Smack's cock just as hard as Eva does... No. That's not exactly what I mean... You see, I'm having such a hard time because my heart is still racing from the excitement of having found an author that DOESN'T sound like a horny 7th grader equipped with an ignorant imagination and keyboard. You must already be a published author because there is no way under Buddha's fucking fig tree that you aren't.
While I can't relate to your story in any way personally, I think that we are all little sluts deep down inside... No, let me rephrase that. Eva's life is my fantasy world. Even though she went through Hell, literally, I still would probably give my right kidney to be in her place. Musician, struggling or not, is honorable. While I fondle no musical bone in my body (my mother being a retired opera star and, father doing a little singing/piano here and there and both my sisters being singers and musicians), this story has touched me more than any story, erotic or otherwise, ever has. And trust me when I say that this has gone from a vessel for the one-handed naughty, to an actual piece for literary pleasure. In other words, it's no longer and issue of getting myself off, but of having raw, dirty, sweaty, pounding, bucking, humping, crazy, wild sex with your words.
Fuck you. Jesus, I'm so jealous, it hurts. But please continue because I don't know where I'd be without you. Yeah, I know, that's lame, but you don't even want to know how true it is.
I know you've published before, you lying bitch. No one puts up legal disclaimers like those unless she knows what the fuck she's talking about. I love you. And I love your work. Please, continue? For me? For the children? No, I'm not drunk. Nor am I stoned... anymore.
May the gods of Microsoft Word bless you,
Birdie H.
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July 3, 2006 at 12:00 AM
This story is very enjoyable. I love Smack's character, and the whole story line is realistic and believable, for the most part. I really like how Eva and Smack are getting closer, and I hope there is a happy ending for the two. Please continue writing! <3
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July 3, 2006 at 12:00 AM
this was really good!i loved it!plz write more soon!thanks!^_^
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July 2, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Wonderful. I really like this story. Who would have thought he would have started to get feelings for her. How cool. Keep it up.
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July 2, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I gotta say, this was a GREAT story I've read in a long time! Started it around 8pm and couldn't get up till I finished it around 1am! Keep writing, please! I have to find out what happened :D Anyways, good luck with this, and please don't stop! Love it, love it, love it <33333
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July 1, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I am hooked on this story!!!!!!!!!!It seems very well written and actually has a plot.Thanks for updating and please write another chapter soon!
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July 1, 2006 at 12:00 AM
If it was such a sexless chapter, why do I feel as if I've just had some really really good sex? There's nothing better than finding out something about somebody that nobody knows. (say that 3x's fast). God, you are SUCH a gifted story-teller, you have no idea. (Or if you do, then pretend it's the first time anyone ever told you.) God, you are SUCH a good writer! I could see the tree-lined boulevard and you said nothing about that! You certainly know how to paint a picture in someone's head. The mean older "brother" reminds me of my elder brothers, who seemed to take great pleasure in being mean just for the sake of meanness. (Thank GOD they grew out of that.) I think Vic ought to have some fanfic writer write about him. (It'd probably be slash, too bad, but yeah, that's how good this is) He's BISHI! (LOL)
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July 1, 2006 at 12:00 AM
@12: well, having sex twice in this chapter made up for the preceding "sexless" (so YOU say!) chapter. (we all know the truth!)
This chapter revealed something complex within you that unfolded like some crazy weaving design that suddenly, voila! comes to make sense as more of the pattern is revealed, and this tapestry is absolutely flawless. Within it are all the things from before that have been bottled up and released with expert timing. Here, we have an inner glimpse of Smack, (Oh, I almost feel sorry for him!), learning one of life's sweet and bitter lessons. You did not waste one word, but with devastating aim, shot your arrow and struck the target. There is no wasted movement here from the heights into the pits. Lead on, gentle writer!
This chapter revealed something complex within you that unfolded like some crazy weaving design that suddenly, voila! comes to make sense as more of the pattern is revealed, and this tapestry is absolutely flawless. Within it are all the things from before that have been bottled up and released with expert timing. Here, we have an inner glimpse of Smack, (Oh, I almost feel sorry for him!), learning one of life's sweet and bitter lessons. You did not waste one word, but with devastating aim, shot your arrow and struck the target. There is no wasted movement here from the heights into the pits. Lead on, gentle writer!
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June 25, 2006 at 12:00 AM
That was really good! One of the best ones yet! I've always known Smack was a good guy; I've gotten to like him a lot. So sweet! I've always kinda wanted Eva to end up with Vic...I wonder when her dad'll work his way into the story. Interesting...Very awesome!
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June 25, 2006 at 12:00 AM
wow that was the best cliffhanger ever! i would die if i had to wait for the next chapter very nice