rate_review Reviews

Got as far as this. Had to go to bed but i will finish.

So...Not only did Vlad come to the rescue, but he saw a good quality in Crald and spared him his life.
Let's just hope that Beorn doesn't catch up with them then, otherwise, I can't see Crald living for very much longer!

Okay, this could be a fairly good fic if you just changed a few things.
First of all; Please do stop nagging about wanting reviews! You are in no position to ask for that. It only makes you look like a newbie. It really gets on the readers nerves.
And second; Having someone beta read your story could be a good idea. You have some grammar and spelling misstakes.
And another advice is that you don't focuse so much on the details, try to look at the big picture.
Otherwise you've done a good job.

Much, much better...well done! And I like the fact that you care enough about your readers to try and improve...
The only thing I would suggest though is that, right at the start of the 'graphic rape scene', you lose the first 'lust in their eyes'...It sounds as if you're repeating yourself by using the same phrase so closely together.

'The men converged on his helpless form. The wolf watched as they all began to free their vile erections, all having lust in their eyes'....

What do you think?....Better?....
Keep up the good work...I look forward to the next chapter!

please update! I want them to all survive and be happy in a land that'll welcome them!

Wow, that was a long wait, for a very short chapter!
Also, a little confused....At the start, you say that Ivaylo is chained up, naked...But then you go on to say that Beorn comes in and starts to rip his clothes off with a knife! Was that a bit of a slip-up there?....

I've been following this story for a while. Great story! Keeps me on the edge of my seat. I'd pretty much given up on any updates. Glad you came back. Hopefully it won't be so long between updates now?

Lanton definitely deserves to have a better year... I like him though - he's not self pitying.

Pretty intresting story. Very dark and graphic, but I like the fact that I have clear pictures through your descriptions. Update soon please!

I have been reading this and I'm not sure if I reviewed eaerlier but I love the story so far and I think I would still read it anyway you decided to take it. i really like the concern the vamp shows for the werewolf. I think it is sweet when so many people paint the vamps in their stories as cold and aloof. there were several spelling mistakes like cense-sense or when I think you meant to say Mevren but you wrote Lanton in the last lines.