rate_review Reviews

Hey, I loved the story.. it was awesome. You had some problems with paragraphing, and grammar though. You should get a friend to proof read it, before you post.
Also I found it extremely hard to read because you weren't creating new lines for new speakers. Otherwise, fantastic story. 9/10. (I have only read the first one so far.)

I do see the whole paragraphing thing, under normal circumstances I space it differently since it would take up more than a chapter, and so it isn't so much to read at once. I was considering splitting it up actually. As to the grammar problems, I have to admit they went right over my head, upon rereading them I didn't spot any glaring errors. Although I haven't had or serviced as a beta in a long while, I suppose I could still use one.