rate_review Reviews

Great story so far ^^ I'm hoping they'll find a way out =3

Ok wasnt a perfect chapter could use editing, there are a few noticable mistakes
'listen to his heart beat' is the correct version what you had was 'Listen to his heart bead' but never the less a fantastic chapter, seat gripping and mind spinningly good.

I so missed this story, and I'm really glad you continued it. Things are going horribly bad again, but I'm really glad they had a chance to be together for a short while. Can't wait to see if Alexander is going to try something again to save Elias from the bad guys.

this is really good, i'm glad your english has improved! I can't wait for the next chapter please update!

Are you planning for a turnaround like with Silent, or is this just going to end badly? Because I really can't see how the situation could be fixed. Unless of course we have something like when the Allied troops rolled into the concentration camps and shut them down. I dunno, you probably have more imagination than I do. I'm just hoping that imagination is working towards a happy ending for Elias and Alex and not a sad one.

Mmm, not much happening except sex here! Which I have no objections about. The story probably needed a short break at this point. And it's nice that you seem to describe the sex longer now, that makes it hotter in my opinion. I want to find out what happens next, though!

About describing emotion, btw: in my own writing, I try not to just say what the characters are feeling. If they feel afraid, I try to avoid the word 'afraid'. It's a funny trick that often works, since describing the effects makes the reader feel what the characters feel, instead of just reading a second-hand description about it, so to speak. 'His heart started to beat faster, there was a nasty feeling in the pit of his stomach. He wiped hair from his face, and his palms felt clammy.' Instead of just saying 'he was afraid'. That works for sex scenes, too. Of course too much is too much, sometimes it's better to just say 'that made him angry' instead of going to ridiculous lengths to describe the effects...

A language note: 'brake' is 'jarruttaa', 'break' is 'katkaista, lopettaa' jne. But on the whole, your English has gotten a LOT better.

Chapter 1 - I really like chapter 1. I've always liked war stories especially ones with young boys helping out their family. Now I just can't wait until he gets ravaged. I hope, eventually, he ends up liking it. That would be really hot!

Chapter 1 - I really like chapter 1. I've always liked war stories. Especially ones where the young boy of the house takes care of his family. Now I just can't wait until he gets ravaged. I hope, eventually, he ends up liking it. That would be really hot!

Chapter 2 - Woah! That was fucking hot. I fucking love gangbangs! And with the kids and his mom watching. GOD! HOT! I can't wait to see what happens next though!

Chapter 3 - Oo, I like Alex. I wonder if he's going to fuck Elias. I really hope he does.