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March 1, 2016 at 12:00 AM
It doesn't matter if you try to eroticize it, rape is rape and no means NO, and nothing changes that. A woman does not 'enjoy' being raped. Why don't you show this story to a real-life rape survivor and ask for their opinion? It really does make me sick that some people find one of the most heinous crimes attractive.
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January 11, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Good grammar in general... lots of smut... all in all a very good story. The only things I can point out is one instance of tense confusion in the second chapter where you seem to go into the present tense for half a sentence. If you want to go to perfect grammar you could reformat your paragraphs to be more "formal" but you dont really need to, considering that you have better organized paragraphs than most of the stories posted here^^ good job
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December 30, 2005 at 12:00 AM
wow...VERY KEWL!!!!!!!!!! amazing storyline, please write more!!
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December 23, 2005 at 12:00 AM
That was HOT! Hope you have a lot more chapters lined up. You write Mandy's innocence well. She's almost too innocent. You might want to let her take control of a situation for a change in pace.
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December 23, 2005 at 12:00 AM
plz keep this up. this rocks and makes me really horny
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December 19, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Real neat. I like the MaleDom thing you got going. Can't wait to read more!