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December 16, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Clearly you are either a male writing this, or a pathetic female writer that can do nothing but give in to cliche. All it took was me to read a few paragraphs to know where this was going- and it was all confirmed by the end of the chapter. Try writing something a little more original. It can be just as hot- if not more with a bit more creative character development and attention to detail....other than the girls thong sticking out of her pants. I know few girls that act like this- outside of porn.