rate_review Reviews

I have mixed emotions about this story...it started out so wonderfully, but in your haste to make it a one-shot story, it lost something. The beginning was full of detail and you made the story run smoothly, but by the end, it became jerky and rushed...and the last ending paragraph was a tragedy. You have so much talent, but you stiffled it with such a forced story. This could have gone on for chapters...perhaps you can go back and rewrite it. Excellent work...but should be reworked.