schedule
July 15, 2009 at 12:00 AM
This does seem to be an interesting start for something that could grow into a much bigger story - one full of delightful twists and unexpected turns. You've given us only a small peek into their lives, but I'm curious about how these three are connected, what their history is.
One thing, which may only be a personal preference, is that I usually don't enjoy anything written in present tense. Mostly, I think, it's because there are very few writers who can stay consistent with it. I think, too, a reader's brain is already geared toward reading things in past tense (I kept trying to change it in my head while I was reading it o.O) because most things are written that way. However, kudos to you because you did manage to stay consistent throughout the piece (there's no way I could have done that :) )!
I do hope you decide to add something more - I think this chapter alone has loads of potential and could be a good platform for a great romance. Thanks for sharing this with us!
~cu-kid
One thing, which may only be a personal preference, is that I usually don't enjoy anything written in present tense. Mostly, I think, it's because there are very few writers who can stay consistent with it. I think, too, a reader's brain is already geared toward reading things in past tense (I kept trying to change it in my head while I was reading it o.O) because most things are written that way. However, kudos to you because you did manage to stay consistent throughout the piece (there's no way I could have done that :) )!
I do hope you decide to add something more - I think this chapter alone has loads of potential and could be a good platform for a great romance. Thanks for sharing this with us!
~cu-kid
schedule
November 19, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I like this story so far. It has intrigue, and you feel for the main character Michael. I hope that you plan on continuing this story. I hope that this story gains popularity because it should.