rate_review Reviews

I like the overall feel of this chapter but it almost seems like it was rushed out. You might consider waiting a few days and then rereading the undressing/shrinking sequence. I love the slow, sensual shrink but this one is a little awkward. We jump rather suddenly from her nipples being at his eye level to him towering over her. A more gradual transition is so much more erotic. Also the first hint of her feeling that her clothing is becoming loose is when she feels her stocking sagging and she\'s already quite small. In short, this section could be expanded. She should be feeling her bra and panties becoming looser, the silky sensation of cloth moving against her skin as she shrinks, how easily his hands slip into the oversized cups of her bra and the smallness of her breasts in his now large, powerful hands as he manipulates her. Her heart and mind should both be racing. Let us feel what she feels. Don\'t miss this wonderful opportunity, take your time and think about it. Rework, wait, reread and rework again until it\'s dripping with sensuality. Anyway, that\'s what I think.

seeya

Okay, nice escape in Chapter 3. I\'m curious to see where you go from here.

Very interesting story. I\'m not sure if it\'s complete or simply the first chapter of a larger tale. Either way it stands up very, very well.

ok, what next? Is he a gnome? a troll? a kobold?
And after a lamia...
nice so far

So I\'m not as much of a fan of your NC17 stories, (just me being a girly girl) yet this one is interesting/disturbing, and I will be looking for further updates. The only things I could find to complain about are: the way the paragraphs are all squished together and the placement of the author\'s disclaimer.

Your earlier stories had better formatting. Double spacing between paragraphs please. And the disclaimer popping up just before the end of the story really broke the mood for me. I was ready to believe the whole wedge thing and not lose any sleep over it. Besides I would have been glad to read the disclaimer if it had been placed after the end of the chapter. I know, nit-picky things really - so feel free to tell me to f*^k off and die. Do you dream of becoming a professional fiction writer some day? You certainly have the imagination for it. Keep on truckin\', Keith.

another odd, weird, disturbing fic. get a girlfriend, i advise you again, keith.

well. if you did that, you probably would stop writing such grand-o stories. so dont get a girlfriend. ..

i\'m stoned. forgive me.

great beginning!