rate_review Reviews

Oh no! Is Ceci Lachlan\'s daughter or something? No, if Lachlan goes against Luther, then he\'ll be killed and I don\'t want him to be killed! You can\'t leave us hanging like that! Lachlan has before my new favourite character! Please don\'t make him unhappy, write some funny situation or something but not tragic scenes with Lachlan please!

Chapter 7 is a great new chapter! I can\'t wait to see what happens! Great Job :)

I love this chapter so don\'t be too hard on yourself about it being bad, cuz its not at all! Err.. i can\'t wait for the next chapter, i wanna know what Lachlan meant at the end. so please continue to update!!1

I love it! Your story is my air without it I wouldn\'t be able to breathe! It\'s so beautifully written and I adore the descriptive words. They make me feel as though I\'m inside the story directly watching everything happen.

Luv this story, it\'s interesting yet sweet though it also has a multi point of view ,the story is countinues/flows quite well,and i adore how you have have the main males persona complex,and not make him trashy even though his back ground portrays otherwise. Well keep posting because im looking forward to reading the rest of this plotline unravil ~Chibi/Raven.

To Victoria: Yes, it was childish, but I was itching for reviews. Anyway, I understand what you\'re trying to say. I party blame my passive writing on the fact that I like to update as quickly as possible;also, because I perhaps just lack the proper judgement when it comes to word choice and sentence fluency. About Luther being a father-figure, I realize that I\'m coming dangerously close to this, and I have been warned by other people that this would most likely happen. Hopefully in later chapters after the wedding, I can fix this.

Everything about their personalities will be clarified later (especially Ceci). I have a special thing I\'m going to do with Ceci; I just need to make sure I do it a way that\'s suitable for me. Ceci\'s eyes roaming...well, I don\'t want to spoil too much...

I\'ll be sure to take more time on descrption. I just fear becoming Charles Dickens with his ability to write four pages worth of description on one thing.

Awesome new chapter!! Eww i can\'t believe luther use to sleep with his best friend, Yuck.. hehe jk. I can\'t wait to read the next chapter, so keep going!

Nice... =O~~~~~ Update soon! Or I will die of... errr... No updates?

I really like your story, how many chapters are you planning to write?

I review not because of your childish threat to not update w/o reviews, but out of genuine respect for you as a writer. My suggestion on your work is to never use passive writing. That means this: 1. Don\'t just put your character to sleep or switch scenes because you don\'t like action scenes. And actions speak louder than words; dont\' depend solely on conversation to keep your story going. 2. Try this sentence: [Joebob was hit by a car.] That is passive. To make it active, try this: [A car careened across the sidewalk and clipped Joebob on the left hip.] Be specific; avoid the use of the words/terms, \"It was,\" (specify what \"it\" is) (\"was verb-ed\" is not focusing on the subject. It\'s a weak way of phrasing things). 3. describe more. Describe how people walk. Describe what important characters wear, their histories. How about a little more info on the main characters? Cae is a little flat. Precocious though she may be, we know she came to be this way for a reason. She\'s going to be traumatized by some of the things she\'s seen, and this will both raise her maturity and make her vulnerable to the innate need of children (because kids regress when they\'re traumatized) to be loved by a parent. Be careful that you note this, but don\'t let Luther turn into a complete father figure. He needs to remain romantic throughout to avoid Cae\'s eyes from roaming to other possible loves.