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October 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
TON
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October 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I don\'t know what happened...but only the first word of my review showed up there....ANYWAY!- hmm...I like where you brought this- but I really hope Zip doesn\'t do something stupid like use Sarah just because she\'s Eddie\'s little sister- someone else said that up above too...anyway- that would be just mean- but knowing Sarah-- she wouldn\'t listen to anything Eddie or Sin (or anyone else for that matter) would tell her anyway since she\'s such a spoiled little brat- ahhhh!!! damn- only problems can come of this I tell you!!!!!! :D- can\'t wait for the next update!
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October 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I like this new story. I can\'t wait to read the next chpater. Please update soon.
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October 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
great chapter. I really like how this is going. I can\'t wait to see eddie\'s reaction to what is going to happen with his sister and zip. haha that should be interesting. keep updating. can\'t wait to read more.
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October 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
heehee! i love eddie, really :P but i can\'t help but admit that i want zip and sarah to end up together, if only to piss the hell out of him :D i guess it\'s cause i kinda sympathize with zip too, even if he WAS the one who acted like a huge asshole in the first place. bad boys have a certain appeal to them, especially when they\'re redeemed bad boys :D
keep up the great work! i really do love your stories! ;)
keep up the great work! i really do love your stories! ;)
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October 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Comprehensive review of the last 2 chapters of Original Sin and the first two of Even Angels Fall:
First off, I like the ending ( in an I-can\'t-believe-there-isn\'t-closure kind of way). Secondly, I love how Sin is opening up. Keep with that, you can do some great things with in.
Now more onto the new story: Definately an interesting premise... I have a few ideas on what Id like to see. I DON\'T want to see more of Zip though, we had to suffer through one story with him and two would be kind of pushing it;) Also, while a one night stand is almost completely inevitable at this stage of Sarah\'s character development, I wouldnt like to see much of that either.
Other than that, great start! Keep writing, as checking here and not seeing a post is disappointing;)
First off, I like the ending ( in an I-can\'t-believe-there-isn\'t-closure kind of way). Secondly, I love how Sin is opening up. Keep with that, you can do some great things with in.
Now more onto the new story: Definately an interesting premise... I have a few ideas on what Id like to see. I DON\'T want to see more of Zip though, we had to suffer through one story with him and two would be kind of pushing it;) Also, while a one night stand is almost completely inevitable at this stage of Sarah\'s character development, I wouldnt like to see much of that either.
Other than that, great start! Keep writing, as checking here and not seeing a post is disappointing;)
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October 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I like the direction of the story - I would be good to see Zip get with Sarah and stop acting like a typical celebrity ASS and get some heart. Can\'t wait till you update!
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October 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Oooo I cant wait for the drama
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October 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Yes, Zipa and Sahra!!!!
Eddie\'s going to have an attack :D
Eddie\'s going to have an attack :D
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October 27, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Good, good. I will say this, I want to smack Sarah for some of the stuff she is thinking. What is her deal? Dood, if my sister let me move in her apartment in a city like that for nothing, and got me a job, I would be in love. And Sarah\'s problem is all her! She needs to go out and do something, not sit on her butt and complain about it. Yeesh. But good! There were a few mistakes, I think you kept saying Eddie instead of Joseph in that last part...typo maybe? But good job anyway *cookies and flowers*