rate_review Reviews

I believe that I've commented on some of your other stories that I like your imagination, humor, and writing style.  With the story, you have stepped out of fan-fic into a completely unique and original literary universe of your own creation.  This is good, publishable, writing which could sell in the right market.  I suspect that this story would make a great graphic novel when paired with comic book style art.  The panel I envisioned  with "The Mom" showing what color luggage she wanted was hilarious, as were the panels for various costumes The Mom made (envisioning Masak in the classic Mousketeers costume a la Annette Funicello, was especially funny with her horns projecting through the cap just in front of the ears).  I know you didn't describe such a costume, but a comic artist friend of mine drew a comic years ago with a Cardassian expatriate being smuggled back home by a Klingon trader who provided him with various disguise choices--all in drag--and my mind ran off with the idea of her various panels with Masak in place of the Cardassian.

Really enjoyable, funny - with just the right amount of information about the demon's previous existence to make it clear that her 'enslavement' is pretty much just deserts.
The scene with the RPG nerds made me laugh out loud ... I think I've played AD&D with those guys, including the rules nazi (every D&D group has one :lol: )
I'm a fangirl most of the time, original stories don't often do it for me, but when they are this well written and exhibit this much intelligence and humour, I'll always be interested.
Off to read your related stories now.

Oi. I must say, it's interesting. I rarely read m/f, but you caught my attention. In the first chapters, with his reactions and her devastation...it's hilarious (and totally believeable which makes it all the more worthwhile). All through it, I conclude you either just know what you're talking about...or you're a complete geek yourself. (And I'm talking about the official geek geek now...not just the ones like me who spend half their life on a computer. ^^;). Despite that though, whatever the truth may be, you write it terrifically with detail I could never hope to accomplish in that area.

I just thought I'd stop to leave a comment, you did a nice job and I enjoyed it. Thank you for posting. (c:

-Moonstar

An interesting story overall. Not encountered quite this sort of thing before, and it was a nice introduction to the concept.

Chapter 2-

Hoo Hahs and Ah Hahs... -Laughs- Oh god, I think I laughed for a good bit about that. XD The way you're slowly bringing the characters closer together is awesome. Masak's bitterness towards him slowly begins to change and you can tell in the writing. I loved the whole Masak and Mom moments that came about too. Their conversation was priceless, not to mention the whole Luggage scenario was also funny. I'm enjoying this fic quite a bit. ^_^

Chapter 1

-Nods- Very good. I liked it. The severity of the beginning with the prisoners in all was great. Only to end up completely backwards, tables turned. Hah, not one mistake I could see, perfectly tensed sentence structures in all and a very promising story with humorous characters. An obviously very well thought out plot is going on there and I like that. Not a lot of original stories have that but yours is very well written and is superb.