schedule
October 15, 2005 at 12:00 AM
dondon. this story itself has some interesting points, however the presentation needs some work. as this is your first story, here are some \"pointers\" from a reader\'s perspective:
1. One exclamation point is all that is needed, not 4-5 after each sentence! It really detracts from the story if you are using them. Also, please refrain from using them so frequently as this leads to a child-like/junior high mentality to the story.
2. Please spell-check your work and make sure that the sentences really make sense!
When you clean this story up, then consider reposting.
tetmarut25
1. One exclamation point is all that is needed, not 4-5 after each sentence! It really detracts from the story if you are using them. Also, please refrain from using them so frequently as this leads to a child-like/junior high mentality to the story.
2. Please spell-check your work and make sure that the sentences really make sense!
When you clean this story up, then consider reposting.
tetmarut25