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December 17, 2010 at 12:00 AM
As someone who spends way too much time on nerdlike hobbies, all I have to say is...
This is good shit. Please do write more.
This is good shit. Please do write more.
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February 17, 2010 at 12:00 AM
hermosa, dulce cuando habra actualizacion, espero muy pronto. ana maria
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June 30, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I'm interested to see where this goes! Hope you update soon
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March 17, 2008 at 12:00 AM
this is amazing. i can't wait for more.
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March 10, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Woooowee, this story is back on the road!!
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March 10, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I'm a new reader..I love this story.. cant wait for the next chapter I hope you update soon
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March 10, 2008 at 12:00 AM
It's been a long time since you last updated. Don't wait that long because I can not wait to read more of your story.
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March 10, 2008 at 12:00 AM
This story kicks ass!!!!
Keep bringing in the great work!!!
Keep bringing in the great work!!!
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March 10, 2008 at 12:00 AM
It's coming along quite nicely.
On the technical side of things, I noticed a few spelling and/or grammatical errors. Nothing that a beta or yourself can't fix. Also, I find the internal quips, though well-used, to be scattered and hidden. Just my suggestion (you can disregard it if you wish), but maybe you could italicize your main character's little asides, to clarify the context a little.
Artistically, your plot is coming along nicely, your characters are very vivid and realistic, and the situations you put your characters in are well thought-out and down-to-earth. The end of Chapter Four was quite a surprise. Now I want to see how this turns out.
Keep up the great work.
On the technical side of things, I noticed a few spelling and/or grammatical errors. Nothing that a beta or yourself can't fix. Also, I find the internal quips, though well-used, to be scattered and hidden. Just my suggestion (you can disregard it if you wish), but maybe you could italicize your main character's little asides, to clarify the context a little.
Artistically, your plot is coming along nicely, your characters are very vivid and realistic, and the situations you put your characters in are well thought-out and down-to-earth. The end of Chapter Four was quite a surprise. Now I want to see how this turns out.
Keep up the great work.
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March 10, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Oooh very nice :D you never read a story from the guy's perspective, its refreshing lol i cant wait til your next chapter ;)