rate_review Reviews

It was a very well written, great story. Kind of morbid towards the end, and a few twists that were very unexpected. Im telling you when he unzipped his pants, and there were thorns, I was suprised, I was like O.o;; I know he isnt going to do that, and then it took me by suprise yet again when he actually did it! I wouldnt let that guys lower regions anywhere neer me, that would freaking hurt! But anyways, it was a good story, but im worried for pepper, I have a feeling the blood he was drinking was her own, and if he continues the cerimony he isnt going to like it. Kale is mean...I think anyways, he puts on a very good mask, but you can tell he isnt what he seems. Thats it for me, its the most I could write, put me on the mailing list if you have one, and please update soon.

Yay, this is definitely one of my favourite chapters so far! A chapter with Marzi and Pepper together and it was so sweet like when he wrote the initials in the heart and Pepper offered to kick Kale\'s ass. I really enjoy seeing the dynamics of their relationship. It was nice to see him just being sweet and funny rather than the obsessive, co-dependant attitude he exhibits around Kale. I really admired Pepper\'s stubborness to see Marzi and the whole conversation with young man in the booth at the beginning was hilarious, as was Pepper\'s imaginig of what Kale\'s house would look like. I bet James ears were burning being talked about that way! Hopefully, Pepper isn\'t in too much danger; that was a cruel cliffhanger to leave us on. I so can\'t wait until the next chapter now. Update soon.

w0w.... when i clicked on the thingi i wasnt expecting much.... but this this is so good! i cant wait for the next chapter!!!!! promise to keep writing!

I only skimmed this chapter due to the warning as I definitely don\'t like blood and pain with sex so this isn\'t a proper review. Anyway from what I read your writing was as good as always and I look forward to the next chapter.

Lovely as always. And this time, sexy. :D

And loyal readers are easy to gather when you write as well as you do... ^^

Thank you so much for the description of Pepper, it makes her easier to visualise and it seems to suit her personality. You always strike the right balance with this story, it\'s just so well-written and imaginative and dramatic whilst retaining humour. I am so happy when I see you\'ve updated witha new chapter. I loved, loved, loved the opening line to this chapter because whilst it was very funny it was also seemed exactly like something Pepper would do. Her fretting over exactly what to say and how James would react was hilarious and easy to relate to. Another line that made me laugh was when Pepper found out Marzi was involved with Kale she swallowed the brandy in a single gulp, as if the mere idea had driven her to drink and the one about MArzi and James!

This chapter was also good for finally giving us some insight into James; he seemed absolutely perfect but his actions and words in this chapter indicate that he has a past. You\'ve done a great job of writing him as a genuinely likeable but still mysterious and intriguing character. I hope that Pepper\'s wrong about James not understanding her gifts-he seems like he would be an open-minded person. That actually answered a question I had about whether magic was widely talked about or accepted in this world, judging from Pepper\'s reaction I guess not! You\'re writing was wonderful as usual in this chapter. I like how you have Pepper so involved with her craft that even when she\'s she\'s worrying about asking James out she\'s still being diligent enough to check for air bubbles in the lollipop! I don\'t know why but I found the end line very poignant maybe because Pepper can give all these people sweet dreams but she\'s so alone. Poor Pepper. Hope you update soon.

I really love this story, it has to be one of my favorites on AFF. The ideas incorporated in it are amazing- magic with candy is really original, I don\'t think I\'ve ever read about that before. ^^- and the personalities are so cool! Kudos again!

Hmm, I wonder what Kale meant specifically by how all humans fail, especially with how Pepper will fail as well... Who knows, maybe Kale\'s confidence will bring him down instead! Ah, for now, I can only wonder. So, anyways, I found very few errors, and I still love your writing style. Keep up the excellent work and keep on writing!

Sorry I\'m reviewing so late, i only just saw this was updated. Marzi is sooo frustrating. I can\'t believe he\'s letting Kale hold all the cards this way. Well, actually I can as Marzi for all his bravado seems to have very little self-esteem. Like you said earlier he has issues. Kale talks about having no secrets but I don\'t see him wearing a \"mood neckalace\". And now he has a gun? There\'s going to be trouble. Alright, I\'ll stop being so hard on him now! His behaviour is so ironic compared to Pepper who seems meek but was willing to go out into a hostile world and environment in the previous chapter to make sure he\'s safe.

I love your writing. There were some wonderful lines like your description of Kale\'s smile and describing his actions such as his touch being \"like the flicker of a snake’s tongue\". You really good at creating a sense of danger about him just by seemingly benign descriptions. Great chapter and I hope you update ASAP.

I wonder if James is going to get in over his head soon... Hah! I loved that last part with Pepper getting back at the guy. Although, with how much difficulty she had just going to the police station, I wonder if she\'s gone out much anymore since discovering her talent. Ah, well, I\'m sure things are going to get more and more interesting in this story. Your writing style is still very nice and error-free. Please continue!