AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Pleasurable

by NiteMar21

person Yaoih8er
schedule August 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Can you do anything ELSE? I mean the ass fucking thing gets old...oh...I don\'t know...THE FIRST TIME, and you\'ve done it HOW many? Maybe a little deviation on this path of suckage would make the story better. The second chapter was good though.
person Stace
schedule August 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I really like the story, but have a hard time following it because of typing errors. It would be so good if you would proofread and edit it.
Update, but take your time to check it first, use word if nothing else.
person l\'etje
schedule August 10, 2005 at 12:00 AM
this was good keep going and post soon
person l\'etje
schedule July 31, 2005 at 12:00 AM
keep going this is very good
person iean
schedule July 19, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Great story you should do a Mark fucks Diana next chapter.
person L\'etje
schedule July 19, 2005 at 12:00 AM
this was good but i need some more action
keep going and post soon
person GG
schedule July 16, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Nice story so far. I definately think it has potential. The characters seem really *alive*. Tim is definately seems like my kind of guy. All I have to say is check your spelling before you post new chapters. Try having someone read it over before you post. That\'s all for now. Can\'t wait for the rest.
person Anon
schedule July 1, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Keep going! cant wait 4 an update!
person l\'etje
schedule June 26, 2005 at 12:00 AM
keep going
person Salokin
schedule June 26, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Just started to read it, Love it already :) It flows very nicely, though your dialoge could use soem work