schedule
April 12, 2010 at 12:00 AM
alucinante historia, muy bien relatada y espero continuidad muy pronto, ana maria
schedule
July 7, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Fantastic combination of Author meets Creation. I love it, when will the next chapter be? This is a great story.
schedule
March 8, 2006 at 12:00 AM
That was such an awesome story! Seriously! You have completely outdone yourself with this!
~Ami
~Ami
schedule
January 8, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Very nice, I like the concept and the characters a lot. Hope you can find the inspiration to update soon!
schedule
June 1, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Absolutely adore it! One of my favorite stories on this site. As a writer, the idea of your characters coming to life... *shiver* When are you going to update? Please let it be soon!
schedule
May 31, 2005 at 12:00 AM
love it. Absolutely love it! Not just hot sex, but a good story, too! Nicely done!
Damn...i want the Maquis now....
Damn...i want the Maquis now....
schedule
May 25, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This is fabulous. I\'ve read a lot of erotica, both published and non-published, and a lot of it tends to be too fetishistic for my tastes. I think you have created a very daring, very dark story that is laced with a lot of realism that makes the it all the more poignant. You are exploring the fantasies behind S&M, but you in no way demean or degrade your female characters. I also like the duel plot lines, especially the very personal musings of Lauren. She seems to be a very real person who is dealing with a lot of emotional turmoil regarding her tastes, priorities, and fantasies. This may be a self-insert, it may not be, but regardless, it works well. I think anyone, both male and female, can relate to your authoress.
My one small criticism is your dialogue. At some points it seems awkward and a little too simplistic. You write very vivid prose, and your descriptions are wonderful, but your dialogue suffers. I sometimes have problems with dialogue as well and what I try to do is think of conversations that I have had or heard and incorporate them into the stories. Think in terns of speech, and translate those thoughts onto the paper (or screen, in this case). You\'ll notice that the character\'s voices will sound more authentic and real.
Overall, this story is very sexy. It never becomes ridiculous despite the fantasy elements, and the sex is hot. Great work, I eagerly await your next chapter.
My one small criticism is your dialogue. At some points it seems awkward and a little too simplistic. You write very vivid prose, and your descriptions are wonderful, but your dialogue suffers. I sometimes have problems with dialogue as well and what I try to do is think of conversations that I have had or heard and incorporate them into the stories. Think in terns of speech, and translate those thoughts onto the paper (or screen, in this case). You\'ll notice that the character\'s voices will sound more authentic and real.
Overall, this story is very sexy. It never becomes ridiculous despite the fantasy elements, and the sex is hot. Great work, I eagerly await your next chapter.
schedule
May 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
wow....
schedule
May 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
interesting....
schedule
May 23, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Wow. Thats all I can say, other than to please continue. But again, wow.