schedule
June 19, 2005 at 12:00 AM
whooooaa.this is a really good story
schedule
June 19, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Another real good chapter... Really into this story.. can\'t wait for more!!!!
schedule
June 19, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Beautiful imagery and wonderful plot. I bow humbly before such brilliance! Tasteful and elegant, your story is inspiring and awesome. I can still feel my heart beating with Rasmus\', yearning for the sweet, little Lethe. It\'s a rare story that can envoke such emotion with your play of words, making this perhaps one of the best I have read in a long time. Please continue writing this and I shall continue to read it. Much love! Toodles! :)
~ Repsychus ~
~ Repsychus ~
schedule
June 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I am really into this story... very orginal.. Can\'t wait to read more...
schedule
June 8, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Okay, I tried to review this before, but... it didn\'t work out or something, \'cause I got an error message and my computer was being snarky. So I\'m gonna try again -- sorry if this was posted already, but it hasn\'t shown, and I wanted you to read my huge thing. :3
--
You. –You-.
I honestly can’t believe it – believe you. You’ve done something I thought to be absolutely impossible. Well… if not impossible, then pretty damn improbable. You’ve written a good story. Something that interests me. Something that caught my attention and drew me in like a butterfly that saw some shiny dew on a spider’s web.
Also, I think I’ll die the death of a trapped butterfly if I don’t get an update soon. :3 All bad comparisons and similes aside, you write a damn good fantasy. Mm. <3 I’m not going to inflate your ego and tell you you’re teh bextxx0rz!! or anything, but you’re good. Man. I like this. The idea is wonderful and beautiful and tragic all at once, and it’s just shiny. I like shiny things.
You make every paragraph count. Some would call it flowery purple prose, but you don’t go overboard with it like some authors do(most notably Anne Rice – ew). I like your characters, and how the prologue was Rasmus-view. I do like Rasmus very much, even though I don’t think we’ll be seeing him again. Nice job of getting his character across to us in one single chapter. Really done very well, because you made him believable, if not real.
Only later on it’s mentioned that Lethe’s to be perfect in everything – or at least very skilled. He learned how to fight with the jai from a master, so one question. Is/was Rasmus a sex god? :3 ‘course not –god-, but… y’know. ‘kay, sorry for trying a bit of humor.
I loved Hesperos from the first time he showed, and Melanthe before then. Damian? He is love. Pure love, that boy. Do you plan on having him show up later on, or is he just one of the gang? **Curious**
The interaction between Melanthe and Hesperos is –good-. She’s bitter and she shows it without coming off as cliché. Baruch is nice, especially with how he treats Lethe later on, with some understanding. Almost sympathy, but then he turns away from it. Kaj? Wonderful bastard. He’s got some depth to him, and he’s actually likable from my perspective – a shame that he died, but it tied in neatly with the story, events led up to it and it flowed. I can say that about this story of yours. It flows. …but oooh, that kiss at the end…! It could’ve been so beautiful… poor Kaj. Oh, well. <3
Also. The prayers of Lethe’s, here and there? Beautiful.
I just hope that my commenting won’t kill it, or make you feel as if you’ve been put on a pedestal or anything and not write any more of this.
Mm. Mirrors. Foreshadowing a bit like that makes me feel scared for darling Lethe, but… he’ll get over it. Live with it. <3
I love your names. They seem very fitting and not forced at all. I can never get that in my stories. Of course, I don’t write a lot anymore, but hey. Kudos to you. Did you look them up from a naming site, or use a generator, or what? I’m very curious. ‘Course I could just check one of those name sites, and I might just do that, but still. Thought I’d share my interest.
-Please-, please continue. I care enough about this story to review it(first one ever on AFF), so… yes. ;; I’m impatient.
Mm. Laughing!Lethe. …lovelovelovelove-love-. You? Brilliant.
--
You. –You-.
I honestly can’t believe it – believe you. You’ve done something I thought to be absolutely impossible. Well… if not impossible, then pretty damn improbable. You’ve written a good story. Something that interests me. Something that caught my attention and drew me in like a butterfly that saw some shiny dew on a spider’s web.
Also, I think I’ll die the death of a trapped butterfly if I don’t get an update soon. :3 All bad comparisons and similes aside, you write a damn good fantasy. Mm. <3 I’m not going to inflate your ego and tell you you’re teh bextxx0rz!! or anything, but you’re good. Man. I like this. The idea is wonderful and beautiful and tragic all at once, and it’s just shiny. I like shiny things.
You make every paragraph count. Some would call it flowery purple prose, but you don’t go overboard with it like some authors do(most notably Anne Rice – ew). I like your characters, and how the prologue was Rasmus-view. I do like Rasmus very much, even though I don’t think we’ll be seeing him again. Nice job of getting his character across to us in one single chapter. Really done very well, because you made him believable, if not real.
Only later on it’s mentioned that Lethe’s to be perfect in everything – or at least very skilled. He learned how to fight with the jai from a master, so one question. Is/was Rasmus a sex god? :3 ‘course not –god-, but… y’know. ‘kay, sorry for trying a bit of humor.
I loved Hesperos from the first time he showed, and Melanthe before then. Damian? He is love. Pure love, that boy. Do you plan on having him show up later on, or is he just one of the gang? **Curious**
The interaction between Melanthe and Hesperos is –good-. She’s bitter and she shows it without coming off as cliché. Baruch is nice, especially with how he treats Lethe later on, with some understanding. Almost sympathy, but then he turns away from it. Kaj? Wonderful bastard. He’s got some depth to him, and he’s actually likable from my perspective – a shame that he died, but it tied in neatly with the story, events led up to it and it flowed. I can say that about this story of yours. It flows. …but oooh, that kiss at the end…! It could’ve been so beautiful… poor Kaj. Oh, well. <3
Also. The prayers of Lethe’s, here and there? Beautiful.
I just hope that my commenting won’t kill it, or make you feel as if you’ve been put on a pedestal or anything and not write any more of this.
Mm. Mirrors. Foreshadowing a bit like that makes me feel scared for darling Lethe, but… he’ll get over it. Live with it. <3
I love your names. They seem very fitting and not forced at all. I can never get that in my stories. Of course, I don’t write a lot anymore, but hey. Kudos to you. Did you look them up from a naming site, or use a generator, or what? I’m very curious. ‘Course I could just check one of those name sites, and I might just do that, but still. Thought I’d share my interest.
-Please-, please continue. I care enough about this story to review it(first one ever on AFF), so… yes. ;; I’m impatient.
Mm. Laughing!Lethe. …lovelovelovelove-love-. You? Brilliant.
schedule
June 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
It\'s absolutely gorgeous, everything is beautifully put together, and I can\'t wait to see more.
schedule
May 9, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This is turning out to be a real good story... Can\'t wait to read more...
schedule
May 8, 2005 at 12:00 AM
i love your story and i hope you\'ll keep going!
schedule
May 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hey, I love your story so far. Only the prologue and I already wants to know what happens. Please update soon.
schedule
May 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
That\'s a very nice first chapter. Rasmus is an interesting character with his contradicted feelings. I hope you\'ll write more soon.