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June 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Jaci.
First off, seriously write more to this. I love it. My favorite line you wrote would have to be \"It is true what they say; Out of the dirt will always spawn a beautiful fruit, but sooner or later you will come across one with a worm.\" I think it sets tone to the whole story. I want to know more about the characters and more about what happened. I also like the fact that you used first person for the story because it makes you feel the tension your character feels. Overall I would not say anything at all bad about this peice. I really want you to continue.
Second, I love the names. I don\'t know where the hell you come up with them. Very good. =).
Third, the details are very vividly descriptive but not distracting to the point. I love that. Makes you want to read more and not fall asleep.
Wonderfullll darling. Do continue. I honestly think if you work hard enough at this story it will not only be a short story but a hell of a start to a kick ass novel.
- Abigail Leona Clooney.
First off, seriously write more to this. I love it. My favorite line you wrote would have to be \"It is true what they say; Out of the dirt will always spawn a beautiful fruit, but sooner or later you will come across one with a worm.\" I think it sets tone to the whole story. I want to know more about the characters and more about what happened. I also like the fact that you used first person for the story because it makes you feel the tension your character feels. Overall I would not say anything at all bad about this peice. I really want you to continue.
Second, I love the names. I don\'t know where the hell you come up with them. Very good. =).
Third, the details are very vividly descriptive but not distracting to the point. I love that. Makes you want to read more and not fall asleep.
Wonderfullll darling. Do continue. I honestly think if you work hard enough at this story it will not only be a short story but a hell of a start to a kick ass novel.
- Abigail Leona Clooney.
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May 4, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Thanks to Nivosus_Sanguis and Shipposmaster for reviewing. I really do appreciate it. It inspires me to write more if I think people like it, though I\'d never stop if they didn\'t, but thanks and I\'ll continue writing.
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May 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
It is simply amazing how this is written, with a sort of modern theme like Romeo and Julet. I love it and hope you will write more.. and post of course.
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April 23, 2005 at 12:00 AM
That was excelent, I love the detail you go into describing the character. I can\'t wait to see more and I will have to read more of your stuff.