rate_review Reviews

What happened to the rest of the chapters this story was soo good but now I can't follow the sequel cuz I never got to finish this one. I hope you'll put the rest of the chapters back up eventually.

I'm just wondering if your gonna put up the rest of your new version because I really liked it the first time so maybe you'd be able to update soon? =)

I remember you said that you were in the process of revising this story. I was wondering if that was still the case, since there are only two chapters up. If not (or even if so), I would love it if you were to repost the un-revised edition. it's one of my favorites, and I'd love to reread it. Thanks!

I was wondering if you would leave up the original version of Little One or keeping a link to it on the page. I enjoy rereading certain chapters and was very dissapointed when you removed it.

I enjoyed the first copy of Little One. But as the story continues and I see how you have changed it, made it more round. It connects just a bit more from Jess and her master with the rest of the helm. Great job with the first, but an even more excellent one with the as the second continues.

I am enjoying reading your new version of the story very much. It is definitely more elegant writing than the first. However, I noticed a few of the same things that annoyed me the first time around, so I thought I would give you my little critique. First, you have a tendancy to repeat things, like "She found Jess asleep on her bed already. The poor thing had fallen asleep." We allready know that Jess is asleep--if you like both sentances, why not simply combine them? Repetition breaks up the flow of the story. My second point is more of a style thing than anything else. While the writing in this version is very elegant, every once in a while you throw in words like "munch" and "smorgasboard". They certainly illustrate the situation, but they are very much not elegant.
So that's my short (hopefully) friendly critique. I love your stories and will be anxiously awaiting your next chapters.

wow! i really i enjoyed your story. a lot more sex than i had anticipated...but i enjoyed your characters and the love that grew. :)

Amazing! I actually just found this story today, but I ended up reading the entire thing all at once. One thing to take into account for your revisions, although the plot and descriptions were quite good, the scenes between Kateri and Jess in the begining of the story are a bit repetative. There are quite a few scenes of them having sex, falling asleep, waking up, having sex, and falling asleep again. As good as it is, they do get to be a bit much. But overall--great!

Its been a long time since i last got back here to read this but i still love it and have read it from begining to end again

thnak you for the reward, it was my pleasure revieuwing such a good story but
the end i can\'t belief it i really loved this story.
please post and even good sequel, i really love alle the caracters from this story.
so keep up the fantastic work and post :)
bye bye