AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Memory of the Past

by eve115905

person Natalie Wilde
schedule October 14, 2012 at 12:00 AM
So far, so good. I am really enjoying our story. You are doing a good job laying out how Ed is coming out of his shell, why he is there in the first place, and what Zach means to him. We can see what Ed means to Zach but I'd like to understand a bit more about Zach himself and why Ed pushes his buttons so well.
Keep up the good work.
schedule August 1, 2009 at 12:00 AM
O hope you write more on this. I'm ganna bookmark it.
person West-chan
schedule May 20, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I\'ve got a story on here... I\'m just too lazy to login. Aaaaaanyways, great story so far, but I have some advice for you, my dear. You need to stop switching between the past and present tenses in your writings. Stick with just past or just present. Switching gets me confused ><. And, you might want to put spaces between your paragraphs so the readers don\'t get confused. Another thing, (sorry there\'s so much) in my opinion, you refer to Eddie and Zach in weird ways, like \"The older man\" and \"The younger man\". Sometimes this gets a little confusing, but it\'s still a great story. I\'m loving the plot. *six thumbs up (if that\'s even possible)*

-West
person West-chan
schedule May 20, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I\'ve got a story on here... I\'m just too lazy to login. Aaaaaanyways, great story so far, but I have some advice for you, my dear. You need to stop switching between the past and present tenses in your writings. Stick with just past or just present. Switching gets me confused... And, you might want to put spaces between your paragraphs so the readers don\'t get confused. Another thing, (sorry there\'s so much) in my opinion, you refer to Eddie and Zach in weird ways, like \"The older man\" and \"The younger man\". Sometimes this gets a little confusing, but it\'s still a great story. I\'m loving the plot. *six thumbs up (if that\'s even possible)*

-West

((sorry if this gets posted twice... it messed up last time))
person Vaughn
schedule May 5, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Ah... I want to make some noise of excitement but I cannot decide between \'Eee\' or \'squee\'. x.x; Anyway... I loved all of that. I read all that you\'ve written so far in one sitting. I wasn\'t all \'Hey, this is boring, let me skip down to the dialogue\' like I usually am when reading online stories. That\'s a great sign... it takes a bit to hold my attention when my contacts are bothering me. Let alone get me to comment... I\'m usually not so wild about stories with rape in them since it seems scarily glorified in the m/m realm, but the reaction to it you wrote of was right on. I thank you for that. Not that I\'m a victim or anything, but I doubt anyone could be thrilled by being raped... otherwise it wouldn\'t be called rape. It frustrates me a little when people write about it being some glamorous, sexy thing. Oh, and also, I feel the need to break my writer\'s block. Thanks again. I hope you feel like writing again too. ^^
schedule April 13, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Aww! That was so good! I\'m glad you let Eddie open up to Zach. The poor guy needed someone to just sit and hold him so he could cry. Very nice! It was worth the wait! ;)

**Zeph**
person Lisn
schedule April 13, 2005 at 12:00 AM
OMG!! I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT!!! Now wut will Mike do??? Hmmm???
person :]
schedule April 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
R u going to update soon? I hope so.
person Zephyr
schedule March 29, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Aww! I just read the first 5 chapters in one sitting. I love this story! It\'s a very unique idea and I love the way you pull it off. The only thing that I really noticed was the dialogue. It\'s a little stiff and proper. Tweak that a bit and this story is pretty close to perfect! I can\'t wait for the next update!

**Zephyr**
person cat
schedule March 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
very good can\'t wait for more