AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for When Love Beckons

by starsarealive

person bambi4real
schedule October 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
i really liked the first ch. the only thing that was a little confusing was the conversation switches. Riley sounds very exciting and the ch lengths are great
person bambi4real
schedule October 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
that would be really cool if his mom knew but didn\'t let on that she did and she found them inflagrante delicto! The shock on Riley\'s face would be hysterical
person bambi4real
schedule October 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
that was a really sweet first kiss scene. The description was very vivid
person bambi4real
schedule October 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
his mom sounds like a positive biatch! Have you considered including Bailey more intot he story and letting us know about him alittle more. Like what is he up to and stuff or perhaps having him go for Bailey?
person Tessa
schedule June 4, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I think it really good!!! Keep going!!!!
person Scribbles05
schedule June 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Please don\'t stop the story. I love your writing. Your grammar is good and everything. (you can\'t say that about a lot of writers on here) I even have this story posted as one of my recommended readings. The same thing had happened to me at the beginning. Then I started to get more reviews. Don\'t give up. Your story is wonderful. I wouldn\'t change a thing.
person Linda
schedule June 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Good story, I like the characters. In my opinion there\'s nothing wrong with the story, perhaps you\'d have better luck posting in the slash section? Anyway, I hope you don\'t abandon this story, it can\'t go anywhere but up.
person Apollo
schedule April 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Very nice hun, definatly getting to know the characters a bit more. I like how you told us a bit more about the parents!

Can\'t wait to read more!

Apollo
person Apollo
schedule March 31, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Nummy! So far an interesting beginning, I can\'t wait to see how this relates to Wishing, good luck with it, and I\'ll stay tuned for updates!

Apollo