AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Fun in the Sun

by HottiewithaBody

person Anon
schedule March 20, 2005 at 12:00 AM
You spelled breasts wrong. And you switched one of the girls name from \"Janie\" to \"Jamie.

Other than that it was pretty good.
person icd
schedule March 15, 2005 at 12:00 AM
your story needs more graphicness
person Kay
schedule March 8, 2005 at 12:00 AM
a good example of PwP, but i still prefer some basic plot.