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July 15, 2005 at 12:00 AM
this is really good. perhaps you could grace us with another chapter?
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May 19, 2005 at 12:00 AM
is there more to the story or is that it for now?
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April 7, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I absolutely love the way this is going and can\'t wait for more. I read this when it was first posted and have been checking daily for updates. Have Mercy on me UPDATE!
And as for Sinn\'s Rune, I find myself strangely attracted to a certain winged prince.
And as for Sinn\'s Rune, I find myself strangely attracted to a certain winged prince.
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February 19, 2005 at 12:00 AM
nice.
I can really see that you\'re inspired by Anita Blake. Your style is good. compelling, but I guess you knew that. :)
The same in medias res beginning as Anita Blake series has.
Add something about \"supernatural\" in the summary. That should get you more readers that are looking for something like this.
When you described the man, Yakez, it takes you a long time before you explain this: \"Two things hit me at once. I knew who he was and he was more beautiful than I remembered.\" Who is he and where does she recognise him from? A painting/a past memory/ a meeting with the goddess - something like that I presume? :) It felt a bit strange to put it in without explaining what the recognition meant.
(Oh, and the cat-goddess of ancient Egypt isn\'t that Bastet? In future chapters you need to explain more about the world - beliefs and all that... Religion that works, supernatural phenomena must have some socio-economic effects. Well, I\'m convinced you\'ve thought this through, since you\'re planning a book. Just though I\'d give you some advice :P
Just develop the world a bit and I\'ll say it\'s Laurell K. Hamilton worthy ;)
Good luck.
I can really see that you\'re inspired by Anita Blake. Your style is good. compelling, but I guess you knew that. :)
The same in medias res beginning as Anita Blake series has.
Add something about \"supernatural\" in the summary. That should get you more readers that are looking for something like this.
When you described the man, Yakez, it takes you a long time before you explain this: \"Two things hit me at once. I knew who he was and he was more beautiful than I remembered.\" Who is he and where does she recognise him from? A painting/a past memory/ a meeting with the goddess - something like that I presume? :) It felt a bit strange to put it in without explaining what the recognition meant.
(Oh, and the cat-goddess of ancient Egypt isn\'t that Bastet? In future chapters you need to explain more about the world - beliefs and all that... Religion that works, supernatural phenomena must have some socio-economic effects. Well, I\'m convinced you\'ve thought this through, since you\'re planning a book. Just though I\'d give you some advice :P
Just develop the world a bit and I\'ll say it\'s Laurell K. Hamilton worthy ;)
Good luck.
schedule
December 30, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Ah, I liked this, so skillfully written, and if you turn it into a novel then damn, let me know so I can buy one ^_^
This fic was so believeable it makes no sense XD congrats to you. The goddess is awesome XD
This fic was so believeable it makes no sense XD congrats to you. The goddess is awesome XD
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December 30, 2004 at 12:00 AM
defenitly laurell k. hamilton worthy!!! amazing job!
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December 29, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Oh! THis was a really cool story and idea! is there more?
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December 29, 2004 at 12:00 AM
The story was superbly written. I like the characters, the plot, and of course, the sex. Fantastic job!