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July 14, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Please don't tell me this is how you ended your story. ok they like to fuck, but is he going to marry her? and what of the movie was it a hit? update!!!
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June 27, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Are you going to update?
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October 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
MY good I love this story! You did such a greta job with it! please update!
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October 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This is a very good story! I really, really like it! (I even cried when Mae came back to LA). There are a couple of grammatical errors in the story.... is English your first language? If it isn\'t, kudos for being able to write so well in a second language (and could I ask you what your native language is?)! I know a lot of people that can\'t write half as well as you, though I would maybe get someone who does speak English as their first language to go over things. It is really very minor - a couple misconjugation of verbs, and use of phrases like \"more bigger\" which aren\'t proper English. There are also some sentences that seem like there may be a word missing, though the sentence of the meaning is still clear, which is good.
If you DO speak English as your first language, just... completely ignore that first paragraph. I do not mean any offence - that is just how it appears to me.
I really like the dispursal of French and what I thought was Spanish throughout. It gives it a very unique flavour. Keep up the good work!
If you DO speak English as your first language, just... completely ignore that first paragraph. I do not mean any offence - that is just how it appears to me.
I really like the dispursal of French and what I thought was Spanish throughout. It gives it a very unique flavour. Keep up the good work!
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October 5, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Pas mal! I am up to chapter 3 and I like your story so far.
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February 9, 2005 at 12:00 AM
OMG I LOVED IT I CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER THAT WAS SO FUCKING HOT OMG
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January 23, 2005 at 12:00 AM
3 chapters !! Loved them all. Now I wanna know what happens next.
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January 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Good story line, but one thing would make it a little easier to read, if you double spaced between all the paragraphs. Sometimes the double spaces make it seem as though the scene has changed when it hasn\'t, so it\'s a little confusing. It\'s also written very simply. Try making it a little more descriptive and it\'ll be much more fun to read. Keep it up and update soon.
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January 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Good to see you updated so soon. Loved it, keep up the wonderful writing.
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January 21, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Good story, your writing is simple and effective, and I like the plot so far ^_^ Keep up the good work =)