schedule
September 11, 2004 at 12:00 AM
It's alright. I can see where you're trying to go in that stream of consciousness way but it needs a lot of improvement, and a better starting to attract the reader's attention. Some of your phrases are good. But you could have conveyed some ideas, like her finding the situation ridiculous. or that his behaviour is out of sexual frustration that she made him wait. Anyway good luck!