AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for The Bus Ride

by Sparticus

person Jaquard
schedule December 19, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This is fucking excellent! Too bad that the server crashes have messed up some of the text. I love the way you paced this. You've done it just right, letting the reader experience the thrill of the moment and the need of a character to become in control of their situation. I don't know what is the best way to show a character's thoughts, but ~ ~ doesn't work for me.
person KuroKen
schedule January 12, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Impressive, very thouroghly narrated, easy to read -as in it has a very accessible flow- and the characters are readily likable, even the addition of Holly as the new sub at the end.
I will go and see if there is anything else of your around here for me to read
person drake220
schedule January 12, 2005 at 12:00 AM
it was great and really REALLY sexy. however, that ending was the best. it was a sort of snide take on the whole romance of the thing and i loved it. thought it was hysterical
person Ben
schedule January 12, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Putting her clothes on seductivly???


....urh no not how it works you see straight guys wanna SEE breasts and pussys not see them covered up

i never go \"Wow i know that kill has no shirt on right now but whats really getting me off is the fact thats she is putting one on right now\"
person Valkyrie
schedule January 12, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I dunno, I think whether being put on or taken off, it could be done seductively. But then, of course I\'d think that, I wrote it :)

Thanks for the comment though Ben.
person drake220
schedule January 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM
NICE TOUCH!!!! VERY GOOD PLOT TURN!!!
person drake220
schedule January 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM
doth i hear a threesome coming on??? what\'s that? you\'ll do it b/c i promise to be extra good??? Oh please have a little domination threesome fight! i want it i need it!!
person kittycat
schedule January 8, 2005 at 12:00 AM
oohhhh...i\'m really enjoying this. you will update soon won\'t you? please update soon!
person tdk
schedule December 18, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Solo or with a partner, that was sexy.
person Excel
schedule December 17, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Bad Daniel! Rebeka needs to show him who\'s boss. Lol. Hot chapter and another one of your best.