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January 25, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Give us more chapters please.
schedule
September 3, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Woah! I'm intrigued! Would this Hoshi be a guy in drag by any chance?! I just had to say that I loved your writing style and hope that you carry on with this fic, because I for one will be giving you five stars! Keep up the good work!
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July 28, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Well this was well done, and well worded. I saw a few things that bothered me with character development that you may want to check. There are certain behaviors that don\'t seem to go hand in hand with the characters. For example, Hoshi\'s irritation at the end of the first chapter doesn\'t seem to fit. If she\'s a pleasure slave, I don\'t think she would have the gall to react to it at all.
And I\'m not sure if you just wanted the man to be the type that said one thing and meant another, but he did say he wouldn\'t make her do anything she didn\'t want to- then he started feeling her up, so I think that\'s a bit contradicting, lol.
But otherwise I liked it for the most part. I\'m interested to see where it goes.... I\'m assuming since this is in the yaoi section that Hoshi is actually male? If not, then I think you may have misplaced this, lol.
But no, I don\'t think this deserved a one rating. I honestly don\'t understand that one. ^^;;;
And I\'m not sure if you just wanted the man to be the type that said one thing and meant another, but he did say he wouldn\'t make her do anything she didn\'t want to- then he started feeling her up, so I think that\'s a bit contradicting, lol.
But otherwise I liked it for the most part. I\'m interested to see where it goes.... I\'m assuming since this is in the yaoi section that Hoshi is actually male? If not, then I think you may have misplaced this, lol.
But no, I don\'t think this deserved a one rating. I honestly don\'t understand that one. ^^;;;