rate_review Reviews

I must say Tony is getting one hell of a deal. Then again at some point or another evey teenage girl dreamr about her best friend. I feel sorry for Tina though shes in love with him and he's taking advantag of that.

woot i likes i likes =)

First I wanted to address your authors note that you left in chapter 2. I agree with your logic there. its well thought out and makes a lot of sense to those willing to and able to understand it. As a girl who became... lets call it, Sexually mature at a very young age I can relate a bit to stories like these. its the reason I seek them out. Oh and as an after thought, It probably shouldn't be called a rape fantasy... because while most women DO have them the fact is that it cant REALLY be a rape fantasy due to the fact that on some level its wanted. Its more of a no control situation. Like... when I think about my own sure the Men in the fantasy are faceless (although in rare cases they aren't) its more about the fact that no matter what I say he's just going to keep going and I COULD fight back but I only put a half hearted attempt into it because as I stated before on some unconscious level that is EXACTLY what I want. Although when I say half hearted attempt I mean that in a mental way, because it is a rare man who I can't take down in a physical fight if that is my intention. so instead of it being a rape fantasy its more a fantasy over a power struggle that you know you have no real chance to win but then again you don't really WANT to. the only reason I even brought that up though is because as you stated Rape involves violence and in a lot of cases pain not only physical which can be an attraction to some but MENTAL, I have experience with that too. and I honestly can not see someone in their right mind who would crave that kind of mental anguish...

BUT, Anyways, as to the review of the actual story itself...

In this piece you have managed to capture some very real reactions. Particularly with the first kisses. For some reason, as I read that, thoughts of my own experience drifted back to me along with the feeling that I associate with the experience. That kind of Depth in a fic, in my opinion, is quite an achievement on the authors part. All in all I commend you on your work here. Its very good. Well written with a steady pace, good explanations and proper reactions to different situations.

If you wish to debate/ Discuss any of this (because I have offered up a lot of differing opinions and ideas here.)you can feel free to make use of my E-mail address that I've left. *toes floor* and I apologize for the long review

Not bad! It's very well written, your diction is quite nice and few to no grammer errors.

One thing I would like to offer some suggestion on is a bit of contradiction you've got going on at certain points. I do realize that at some points your are trying to convey the innocence of the character (stating something, but then drawing contradicting it a moment later.) Just watch that it doesn't get too confusing.

Also, the omniscent viewpoint you're telling from here is a little confusing at times. Including both character's thoughts within one paragraph without explaining the shift just confuses the reader sometimes.

Otherwise, well done!

Seeing the age of this story, I'm sadly assuming it has been abandoned. Such a shame, because it's a really good story. If you do read this, I hope you'll reconsider and try adding to this. It's wonderful.

I really like this story, but a simple correction, not that it would make much of a diference, but in the begining you said something about typical 14 year old girls are "thrilled with the idea of simply kissing a cute boy". actually, most 14 year old girls in ithe US have erotic dreams and masturbate.

This is such an amazing story, you have got to keep posting!
But I just had a thought-- he didn't use condoms for both of them, right? so mightent there be, um, consequeses? (I spelled that wrong. I just know I spelled that wrong *sigh*)

This was a good sexy story very erotic, I love it. Are u adding chapter 4 anytime soon. Please I would love to read it.

Very good story, it made me wet. Hehehe. Anyway, maybe you should add another chapter about what the parents are doing while this chick is getting it on with the sexy gardner

Please, write chapter four soon!