AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Camp

by Nifty225

person pwagro
schedule September 9, 2016 at 12:00 AM

The diamond (?)'s are very distracing while trying to read the content of the story + the mis-spellings, jumbled up sets of words are even more disrupting my reading enjoyment.   Doesn't your word processer have an auto spell checker? The ending really left me high, dry & disappointed.  I hope you are able to find the new or continuing thread in your mind.   Good luck!

 

 

 

person pwagro
schedule September 9, 2016 at 12:00 AM

Mary Jean, 

Sorry, I forgot to add plot suggestions in my previous post.

The camp counselors could have more one sex + dual sex  + rotating partners directed / structured hands-on sex oriented activities   : like kissing; blindfolded touching of partners with required discriptive reactions; co-cabin interaction activities with rotating partner activities,  nude small group physically active games like keep away or team games? Learning oposite sex masterbation techniques with the co-cabins.  Nude mixed swimming.with partners that require cooperation to win? There are any number of gradually more sexually intimate activities, building to full instructed intercourse = pairs, co-cabins & full camp.

I think these plot suggestions are obvious, but the building of the story tension will  be the crux of the story success? 

Good Effort?

pwagro

person Anon
schedule June 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
That was great! I think you should continue their education with the groups getting together in the same room and demonstrating different techniques in front of one another...could end in an orgy
person BlueCrow
schedule September 29, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Excellent story so far. An idea for the story: How about having the boys learn to control themselves while having anal sex with eachother. The girls could be doing something similar?
person the pope
schedule July 5, 2004 at 12:00 AM
UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this story kicks ass!
person DurMan
schedule June 15, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Great story. Keep up the good work.
person a gurl
schedule May 16, 2004 at 12:00 AM
I like it and I want more lol!
person Babboon
schedule May 16, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Great story so far!! This chapter, I think that half of the boys should go over to there the girls sleep, and half of the girls go over to where the boys sleep!ve tve them all have sex with eachother, girls with boys, boys with boys, girls with girls! Or, if you really want to make it interesting, throw in a dog...!
person leyier
schedule May 15, 2004 at 12:00 AM
your stuck!? hhmmmm....lets see.

like u said, u write baout them seen each other again and you could write that something happens...that she is suppossed to give him a blow job or something!!!! or that he trieswithwith her!!!!

i know you can do it!!!!
person the pope
schedule May 15, 2004 at 12:00 AM
i like the premise, and it is written very well. personally i would think teenage boys would be WAY more uncomfortable jacking off around each other, other than that, keep up the good work