schedule
March 26, 2004 at 12:00 AM
I\'ll admit, this is a very good piece of literature.
First: Don\'t you eveVER,VER, EVER stop writing! Do you hear (technically read;) ) me?
Second: You\'ve got remarkable talent and an amazing nack for description. The expression of feeling is excellent.
The ONLY thing I can suggest to you to help you improve your pieces is the send this to someone BEFORE you post it to p rea read it. You had a few grammatical/spelling mistakes. I am offering myself if you would like, or you can choose someone you know better/can relate to more easily. If you have any questions to ask me, please use my e-mail Konkeysss@hotmail.com and if I don\'t answer that, e-mail KDH2KY@aol.com
First: Don\'t you eveVER,VER, EVER stop writing! Do you hear (technically read;) ) me?
Second: You\'ve got remarkable talent and an amazing nack for description. The expression of feeling is excellent.
The ONLY thing I can suggest to you to help you improve your pieces is the send this to someone BEFORE you post it to p rea read it. You had a few grammatical/spelling mistakes. I am offering myself if you would like, or you can choose someone you know better/can relate to more easily. If you have any questions to ask me, please use my e-mail Konkeysss@hotmail.com and if I don\'t answer that, e-mail KDH2KY@aol.com
schedule
January 20, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Its really good keep going!
schedule
January 2, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Good stuff. Knowing that it comes from real life and someone\'s real thoughts always gives adult material that extra EDGE. Keep writing, you\'ve got me in suspense...
At the risk of stereotyping, I must say that this is one of the most textbook-charasterictically female fics I\'ve seen around here. It\'s about a real and specific person, it\'s very emotional, and it takes a bit more of its time building to the lemony hotness than usual. It\'s a very thought-, dialogue-, and feeling-oriented story; you use a minimal number of concrete images and physical descriptions-- when you do talk about his body or yours it\'s usually more about what you\'re doing with it or how it makes it feel than how it looks or (physically) feels. There was a lot of touching and feeling but no nudity or groping of buttocks, breasts, or genitals.
When you get to what you\'d like to do to this poor guy, it\'ll be interesting to see how you write it. I have a guess, not telling...
And a sidenote-- if this guy is the kind of person you write him as, he won\'t take any action unless he\'s got a logical reason to believe that you\'re interested. You can\'t subtly manipulate his feelings to make him go for you-- that strategy is usually too subtle to carry the needed power. You\'ve got a barrier to overcome-- male avoidance of rejection and all. I know this is fluff and not trying to be plausible, but it would still be good to make him act a shade more realistic.
At the risk of stereotyping, I must say that this is one of the most textbook-charasterictically female fics I\'ve seen around here. It\'s about a real and specific person, it\'s very emotional, and it takes a bit more of its time building to the lemony hotness than usual. It\'s a very thought-, dialogue-, and feeling-oriented story; you use a minimal number of concrete images and physical descriptions-- when you do talk about his body or yours it\'s usually more about what you\'re doing with it or how it makes it feel than how it looks or (physically) feels. There was a lot of touching and feeling but no nudity or groping of buttocks, breasts, or genitals.
When you get to what you\'d like to do to this poor guy, it\'ll be interesting to see how you write it. I have a guess, not telling...
And a sidenote-- if this guy is the kind of person you write him as, he won\'t take any action unless he\'s got a logical reason to believe that you\'re interested. You can\'t subtly manipulate his feelings to make him go for you-- that strategy is usually too subtle to carry the needed power. You\'ve got a barrier to overcome-- male avoidance of rejection and all. I know this is fluff and not trying to be plausible, but it would still be good to make him act a shade more realistic.
schedule
January 1, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Please continue, you can look at the number of hits you have and tell that people like what you do.