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November 2, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Very nice, if I do say so myself. I've read few stories on this site that actually use proper english- and your's happens to be one of them! Very descriptive, beautifle style. I'm personally not such a big fan of words like 'ass' and 'penis' as opposed to words such as 'rear' or 'arousal,' but that's purely a matter of opinion. Besides, your story worked out beautifully in terms of natural flow and emphasis.
Anyway, enough of that constructive criticism crap.
The point is you've got talent, and I most deffinatelree ree on the fact that you should continue this story. Wonderful work!
Anyway, enough of that constructive criticism crap.
The point is you've got talent, and I most deffinatelree ree on the fact that you should continue this story. Wonderful work!
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October 19, 2004 at 12:00 AM
It was good so PLZ continue. It would be nice if someone saved him!
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August 7, 2004 at 12:00 AM
This is a very interesting story. It\'s too bad there\'s a \"Fin\" in the end. Any chance I could read more? XD
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March 6, 2004 at 12:00 AM
So THAT is what happened to Kenji. *mentally fits that into the timeline* Poor boy.
I found it a little amusing that you did actually mention Ki and Lauren, despite the fact my girls never showed up. Would have been interesting.
I found it a little amusing that you did actually mention Ki and Lauren, despite the fact my girls never showed up. Would have been interesting.
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December 15, 2003 at 12:00 AM
¿Fin? No way, you must continue this story! ;)